A problem that should not be such a big problem

Hi!
Here are some more pictures from my first Diana Mini roll. The first three were taken at the Hawaii airport, and the rest are from the yurting adventure on the Oregon coast. Overall I am pretty happy with how they turned out, and I like how I can do overlapping exposures with this camera easier than with the Holga. Plus it's a very pretty camera to carry around!
Anyway, you may notice that I never post photos of Toronto. (Well I mean I have pictures from going around different areas with Kara and Rifqi and stuff, but never any actually decent photos that I put thought into). Even though I almost always have at least one camera in my bag, I can never seem to stop, take it out, and fire the shutter. WHY?!


One thing I have noticed about Toronto is that most people seem to be either in a rush, or very concentrated on getting where they're going. Usually both. So I think I kind of got into a fast-paced habit like that too. When I'm walking to class I always look around and see and think about the things that are weird or pretty or in any way remarkable, but I keep up my pace and walk on by. Now that I'm used to passing though and seeing things on the move, it takes a lot more effort to stop and think about a still frame. Sometimes I'll turn on my ipod, shove my hands in my coat pockets and arrive at class without even having thought about photography.


Another thing is that there are actually people here. A lot of people! Everywhere!! And it makes me self-conscious and paranoid about taking pictures. I am certain that no one will care or think about it for more than a second if I stop and take out a camera. Even if they did think it was weird or something (why would they?), why should it matter to me? And people take pictures in Toronto all the time, anyway. Plus you are more anonymous in a city than anywhere else! But these reasonable arguments can't stop me from thinking:
"They'll think I'm stupid for taking a picture of a tree!"
"I'll look like a tourist!"
"If I take a picture they'll think I'm stalking them!!"
"I'll look like I'm trying to be arty and they'll think I'm all pretentious!! OH GOD, AM I PRETENTIOUS?!?!"
I love looking at street photography in particular and it's something I would really like to practice, but these thoughts are kiiiind of getting in the way.


I'm also not used to taking photos in such a dense area. Things seem to be all smashed together and it feels more messy and less natural. Also, I know that there are tons of amazing photographers swarming around Toronto, so I feel like everything I could shoot has been done before, and better. Maybe the fear of coming up with terrible pictures is subconsciously keeping me from trying at all, like people who procrastinate because they're perfectionists and so they sabotage themselves so that later they can say "I only did poorly because I left it until the last minute." But it would actually be kind of good if my pictures turned out bad, because you have to suck at something before you can be any good at it. So I'm not taking pictures because I'm afraid I'll suck, but I suck because I'm not taking any pictures?!


It's the people that are most interesting in the city, but I never really got the hang of photographing people. I think it takes a lot of patience and intuition and some luck too. And the best street photographers are the bold ones who can get up close to strangers and, like, not freak out or apologize or anything but just take a picture and move on. That is something I'll definitely have to practice.


This sounds totally crazy and like I'm over-analyzing things! I should just throw all this away and go take some fucking pictures! I've already tried that though and all this shit keeps coming back to me so that's why I wrote this post, so I can stop it from cluttering up my brain and get it organized. Now my anxieties are out of my head and onto my blog. This was probably a reallllly uninteresting post to read but at least it is over now! Thank you for reading, or skipping to the end! Baaaiiiiiii!!

This is mostly about weather, sorry

Hi! The first week of the new semester is over and the snow has arrived in Toronto. I forgot how sparkly snow can be. Queen's Park is now white, and everything glitters as you walk through. From the second floor of Pratt library I'm distracted by the Christmas-card images out the window. The old stone Burwash buildings adorned with crisp white play host to twinkling icicles while flurries of snowflakes dance in the wind. Spindly tree branches stand out like black text on a white page. Everything is untouched and silent and perfect.
....On the other hand, God seems to have spewed a huge dirt-flavored slushie all over the streets and sidewalks. I guess city winter has its ups and downs. Invisible rivers of wind tear like frozen hell between towering buildings. It's ridiculous.
To get my mind off of the cold, I'll post some warm-weather Hawaii photos. These were taken with my new Diana Mini camera on expired Costco film I found at Goodwill.













That was nice.
On Tuesday I'm trekking out to Ikea with Bachan to buy cooking things so that I can finally be able to cook things. I am very excited. The other night I got really really hungry before bed and everything was closed (except Rabba, the hobo-y all-night grocery store, but bad things happen when I go there) and the only food I had was candy from going to see Tron. I ended up eating some Kit Kats and going to bed but it didn't exactly fill me up. I'm sure that once I become a master chef I won't have these kinds of problems anymore. Literally the only things in my fridge right now are vodka and film.
I was just looking over concert listings and apparently Randy Newman is going to be playing at Con Hall, the Mean Girls building where I have physics and anthro, in March! Hahahaha, what the hell?
Ok I am going to go chill at the library for a while. Baaiiiii!

Oh hi holga I missed you

Do you guys know who "Drake" is? I didn't know, but apparently he's a rapper and he lives in the building across from my building! I bet he has a lot of places though so he's probably not there all the time. I would be more excited if I knew who he was so I could recognize him if I ever saw him on the street. Then I could yell out his name and point and cause a big commotion, and I'm always looking for opportunities to cause a commotion.

Anyway, here are some holga photos that I never got around to posting or putting on flickr until now. I'm pretty happy with how they came out though. This film is called Portra 160VC and it's one of my favorites now. In this one I was testing out my macro lens thing, it's harder than it looks cause the viewfinder on the Holga is not actually a viewfinder and it has to be the exact right distance from the lens to be in focus:


This is from hanging out in the meadow with Claire when it was still summer and not freezing cold. The camera is my 60's Anscoset that I got in a weird "trading post" store somewhere in Nova Scotia.


The rest are from the Corvallis fair when I went there with Claire. That was like a triple rhyme. I win.


















I posted the entire roll of film in this post. They aren't all that great but it's rare to have a roll that is even 50% good enough to show people so I'm happy!
It's supposed to snow tonight. It probably won't but I hope it does. I'm trying to convert myself to thinking in degrees Celsius, so far it's going pretty well. I don't know when American Thanksgiving is and I'm too lazy to look it up, so if it's today then happy Thanksgiving! If not then I take it back.

Greektown

Hi! Yesterday I explored Greektown with Rifqi and Kara. We went for lunch first at a place Kara had heard about. It was pretty inside with Greek-looking pillars and everything. I had chicken souvlaki and we also got this appetizer thing called saganaki. Basically it's fried cheese and they bring it to your table and pour vodka on it and set it on fire and yell "OPA!!" Everything about it was amazing. I also tried a dolma which was I think rice and something else wrapped in a grape leaf. It was really really lemony and I didn't like it much. The hummus there was awesome though. Here's a picture of the saganaki:


Mmmm. We found a cool (non-Greek) store where we made Rifqi wear funny hats.


Bahahaha. I bought a badass hat there. Here we have Rifqi and me posing douchily.


This is inside a cafe we went to. We got a banana split to share. It was awesome.


Rifqi took the wafer bit, but I got the cherry. Poor Kara was too slow to get anything special. We also found a sketchy "discount store" where I bought a flashy deck of Pokemon playing cards for a dollar. The backs are all sparkly. I also got one of those awesome pencils with the leads that you take out when it goes flat and stick in the bottom, and there's a sharp one underneath. I haven't had one of those in so long! Rifqi was amazed that I was enough of a loser to know all the names of the pokemon on the cards. I tried to explain to him that Pokemon was cool, but he kept talking about how hot Misty was.


The Greek stuff in Greektown was mostly restaurants and travel agencies, plus a ton of old Greek guys milling about. It was overall a cool place to go and hang out. Afterwards Rifqi and I met Elise in the subway and then went to Eaton Centre, and then me and Elise went to a Kate Nash concert. It was really good, she is awesome live! The opening band, Peggy Sue, was amazing! I've never seen an opening band that good.

Anyway I know when I'll be home for winter break now. I get to Corvallis in the evening on December 17th and leave on January 9th. Yay!

Toronto-style nature

On Saturday I went to High Park with Kara and Rifqi. It's a giant naturey area with greenhouses, nature trails, tennis courts, and a zoo! It was nice to get away from the city for a bit. A group of asian tourists offered to take our picture in front of the "High Park" sign:


It was super pretty because of all the colourful autumn leaves and everything. East coast fall is a bit different than west coast fall, I think there's just a lot more pine trees on the west coast.




Here's a picture of some nice ducks


Here's me taking that picture


Whoaa, right!?
We spent 4 or 5 hours going around there. There was a children's "adventure park" which was basically a condensed, fire-safe version of the old wildcat park in Corvallis. It was awesome! Here is some of it:


Doesn't it look just like wildcat park?! We sat on a bench near there and Rifqi told us about how much joy he gets from making little kids cry. Whenever a kid passed by he'd open his eyes really wide at them to freak them out. What the hell?! I told him he was a sociopath and he seemed really surprised that Kara and I didn't enjoy scaring kids. Here he is among some Canadian geese, which he had never seen before:


We checked out the little zoo, these are some mouflon sheep, or something:


There were also peacocks, bison, emu, llamas, yaks, those emo-looking furry cattle, and wallabies. So I guess I took a picture of the boring-est animal. :/ But my memory card can only hold 30 or so photos so I didn't want to waste them on animals sitting around.

Last week I went to the debut of the Weakerthans documentary thing with Elise. John Samson did a live set and the whole night was super amazing. We got to talk to him afterward and he remembered us from last year and said he liked my new hair! The next night I went to the horseshoe tavern with Kara to see them do a free concert with Jim Bryson, because they just released a collab album (which is awesome) and they were playing all the songs from it. I love Jim Bryson too so it was doubly amazing. We were right up front and part way through Kara passed out! It was super weird! Stephen Carroll, the Weakerthans guitarist, helped me get her to the back room, and John Samson came and stuff, and it was crazy! He was like, "oh hey!" to me and gave her orange juice and stuff and she was fine, but we got to chill in the weakerthan's room for awhile. I accidentally left my jacket back there so before we left I had to go back and get it, and Jim Bryson was back there! He was like "is your friend okay?" He seemed really nice! I talked to him for a little while and the weakerthans were milling around packing up instruments in the background and it was kind of surreal.

Anyway, I organized all my clothes by colour yesterday and suddenly I have a ton more space? How did that happen? I'm liking the fall this year.

Blonded by the light

I went blonde. And like any sane, healthy person would do after a major hair change, I photobooth'd.






I'm going back in a couple weeks to go lighter.
And yes Claire I will bleach my eyebrows, at least a little bit!

I'm hungry

So I found a pun in the Analects:

"15:38 The Master said, 'In education there should be no class distinctions.'"

Haaahahaha. Oh Confucius, you crack me up.
I was going to have an actual post, but instead I'm just going to put up these photos from my plastic underwater camera that I took back at home. They are a little different from what I normally do and people may not like them so much, but I really really like them, especially as a set.
















Canadian Thanksgiving is on Monday, we get the day off of classes and I am celebrating by writing two essays and an essay proposal. I will probably have a bagel for Thanksgiving dinner. But that's ok because tomorrow I am going to a Hot Hot Heat and Hey Rosetta concert with Kara. She won free tickets because she is extremely lucky in freebie things. Then on Saturday I am going to see a movie with Elise and a couple other people called Scott Pilgrim vs the World or something, apparently it takes place in Toronto and mentions Burwash? Elise loves it and is horrified that I haven't seen it, so I'm looking forward to it.
Tomorrow is my mom's birthday, happy birthday Mom!!

Also - Today I passed up an opportunity to meet the Barenaked Ladies AND the cast of The Big Bang Theory (which I love) in order to go to philosophy class. Rifqi says it was awesome. What the fuck is wrong with me.